There is no use in giving a gift without a card. When you open this useless card, you will laugh so hard, you will burst an eyeball.
Wording inside: I couldn’t think of anything to write, so please pretend that you’re reading something really touching, maybe even wipe away a tear, and then look at me and say, “That is so beautiful. I didn’t know you could write like that.” Then if anyone asks to see the card, refuse and tell them it was just too personal. Thanks, I owe you one.