How do I order?

So this is what you do.  View our products and when you see something you like… click add to basket.  You should sommer double up, in case life hits you with a useless moment and you need a gift for it.  Now proceed to checkout.


How much will I have to pay to get some Useless Gifts sent my way?

We will send your order for the tiny amount of R99 to whichever spot in South Africa you call home… Get a few gifts in advance and keep them for those unforeseen housewarming parties, mother-in-law birthdays or surprise party you were invited to at the last minute! Soooo give them a useless gift to remind them you were just invited as a seat filler…


How do I return an order?

Look for the product categories, we don’t return a battery, a dry koki or a non-stick sticker because it is not working… it’s not supposed to work for anything other than a Useless Gift. We will accept returns within 7 business days, if the product is still in its original packaging.

Gifts in the “Useless” category, are prank items and jokes, not medical supplies! Don’t blame us if Jacob Straight Up didn’t solve your problems… So our prank gifts are like underwear – you got it, you keep it. En as jy nou rêrig jou panty in ‘n krul trek, contact us and let’s see what we can do.


When will I receive my order?

Once your order is dispatched, you will receive an email (with tracking details). We only send to a physical address, no PO boxes. You will receive your parcel within 5 working days (but usually sooner).